Brett Gardner 1, David Ortiz 0

Apropos of yesterday's post, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that Brett Gardner last night joined the very long list of major league players with more home runs than the formerly unstoppable David Ortiz. Not only that, but all of Gardner's power numbers, believe it or not, are either higher than or within striking distance of Ortiz's. 

Gardner's batting average is 13 points higher, and his slugging percentage (total bases divided by number of at bats) is 25 points higher. Granted, Gardner has 50 fewer at bats than Ortiz, which pretty much explains the higher slugging percentage, but should Gardner and Ortiz even be compared as sluggers in the first place? That I'm even doing it speaks volumes about Ortiz's vertiginous drop, and I could have easily substituted for Gardner Pablo Sandoval or Coco Crisp both of whom have higher power numbers than the Artist Formerly Known as Big Papi. If I were a Sox fan, I'd really start to worry about Ortiz. As one Red Sox official recently told Ken Rosenthal, "If [Ortiz's] not hitting in June, our record will not be very good." From his lips to God's ears. 

To Catch a Thief

Tampa Bay Rays left fielder--and future New York Yankee--Carl Crawford tied a Major League record yesterday when he stole six bases off Jason Varitek, or, more specifically, the Boston Red Sox pitching staff. 

Crawford, who went 4 for 4 with an RBI, didn't realize he had tied the record until after the game. Said Crawford: "I found that out late. I wish I had known during the game. I probably would have broken it if I knew. I'd have definitely tried.

"I didn't even try. I don't know if that will ever happen again."

Crawford, who has yet to be thrown out this season, currently leads the majors with 17 stolen bases, four more than home wrecker Jacoby Ellsbury, and has stolen 19-straight bases without getting caught.   

Crawford shares the one-game stolen base record with Eric Young, Otis Nixon, and Eddie Collins, who accomplished the feat twice in 1912.

There Are No Small Parts. Only Future Bigheaded, Sweaty Baseball Players

While trying to figure out which current members of the Boston Red Sox have taken performance-enhancing drugs, I stumbled across this interesting piece of Wiki-trivia about Kevin "The Greek God of Walks" Youkilis (Ed. Note: he's actually of Romanian and Jewish descent).

As a 14-year-old, little Youk had a cameo in the Melanie Griffin and Ed Harris romantic comedy Milk Money, which was filmed in Youkilis's hometown of Cincinnati, where he presumably dreamed of making it big with fellow Cincinnattian Nick Lachey.   

For your viewing pleasure, I offer you Kevin Youkilis's theatrical debut.

The borderline pubescent Youkilis isn't as ugly or sweaty as he is today, but that face most definitely belongs to the man who last year, seemingly out of nowhere, crushed 29 home runs--or almost twice as many as his previous career high and one less than he hit throughout his entire five-year minor league career, when he was developing his batting eye. 

Odds & Sods

The NBA decides that LeBron is one rebound less than awesome, and Mo Williams should probably just leave his game at home during the All-Star weekend. The Minnesota Twins hire their first groundskeeper in 20 years, while the Red Sox send moving vans to Fenway, as part of its annual Truck Day. Ray Lewis can set his sights on Florham Park, but Matt Cassel should probably hold off packing his bags, at least for now.