Sports Writing At Its Worst

There are a ton of bad sports writers out there. But, Mark Whicker, a columnist for "The Orange County Register," has to be the worst. Or at least the only one without a conscience or a minimal sense of propriety. Whicker thought it would be a good idea to catch up Jaycee Dugard, the girl who was kidnapped, imprisoned and raped by her captors for 18 years, on what happened in the world of sports while she was away. Seriously, here's his lede:

It doesn't sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page. Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year. She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn't high-fived in a while. She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey.
Now, that's deprivation. Can you imagine? Dugard was 11 when she was kidnapped and stashed in Phillip Garrido's backyard. She was 29 when she escaped. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day. Dugard was cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before she fully digests the world she re-enters? How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change? More than that, who's going to explain the fact that there's a President Obama? Dugard's stepfather says she's going to need a lot of therapy — you think? — so perhaps she should take a respite before confronting the new realities. So, Jaycee, whenever you're ready, here's what you've missed:

He goes on to list a bunch of sporting events that took place while Dugard was kept in captivity. Among the highlights, Whicker mentions that baseball fans stopped doing The Wave. Beach balls are no longer popular either. The entire column is insensitive and stupid, but his kicker, four monosyllabic words he'll never live down, is particularly so. 

And ballplayers, who always invent the slang no matter what ESPN would have you believe, came up with an expression for a home run that you might appreciate. Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

One word comes to mind: douchebag. Whicker has since apologized. 

(Via Via)

UPDATE:

It gets worse. Whicker wrote a similar column in 1991, following journalist Terry Anderson's release. (Via Deadspin).