Wardrobe Malfunctions

Pitchers and catchers don't report for another 10 days, the Knicks are in the middle of brutal stretch of games and I am so hungover my fingernails hurt. (Damn you, Adam Graves). What better way, then, to kill some time on a gray February afternoon than by making fun of some truly heinous-looking uniforms from back in the day? Like this timeless orange, yellow and black Vancouver Canucks ensemble from the early 1980s. 

The uniform brings to mind William H. Macy's brilliant line from State and Main: "It looks like Edith Head puked, and that puke designed these costumes."

As much as these garbage bag-inspired eyesores must have infuriated the hockey players who had to don them 41 nights a year, members of the Colorado Caribous of the defunct North American Soccer League would have grabbed them off the rack in a second, in favor of this monstrosity of fringe.


I'm pretty sure this is the look Buffalo Bill was going for in Silence of the Lambs.

And then there's this technicolor turnout, which in addition to the Nuggets play, probably induced its fair share of Gran Mal seizures throughout the Denver area during the first half of the Reagan Administration.  


Thing looks like a costume from Andrew Lloyd Webber's Broadway production of The White Shadow.

(Via New York's Daily News).

Up in Smoke

In yesterday's Daily News, columnist Filip Bondy drew a clear line between the Giants and the Jets. The Giants, according to Bondy, are a total mess. The Jets, on the other hand, are a model of propriety. Bondy even compared Gang Green to a group of "Boy Scouts." Here he is on the team's singular focus: 

There is nothing to divert them from their appointed duty. Outside of the positive fuss about Brett Favre's arrival, the Jets have been all about football. It's been this way for a while. You have to go back to John Abraham's crash or Jumbo Elliott's DWI to uncover even a sniff of scandal.

Poor choice of words, and even worse timing. Less than 24 hours after Bondy's column went to press, it was announced that Jets DE Shaun Ellis was arrested last Saturday morning for possession of marijuana, speeding and driving without insurance, after he was pulled over by police outside the Jets' practice facility in Florham Park, New Jersey.

I'm sure fellow News columnist Mike Lupica, who's known for shooting from the lip, is giving Bondy total hell for this. Provided, of course, Lupica still even acknowledges other sports reporters off-camera.