Yankees Skipper Hopes Players' Misspent Youths, PEDs Will Carry Team to the World Series

The talk of Spring Training yesterday was how Yankees skipper Joe Girardi, a longtime enemy of fun and whimsy, cancelled practice and took the team to Peabody's, downtown Tampa's finest strip club (Ed. Note: pool hall) to shoot some 8-ball. Girardi said the outing was planned to help bring the team together, and to give the guys a little break from the daily grind of baseball-related matters.  "There's a lot of other sports that do these types of things," said Giradi, who spilt the team into pairs for two separate two-on-two tournaments. "We can get away from the park and enjoy each other off the field and get to know each other."

Girardi's publicity stunt seemed to have worked, too. At least until the team has to face opposing pitchers. Gushed Johnny Damon: "Today is one of those days that, as a ballplayer, you'll never forget." 

Newly minted Mark Teixeira agreed with the hyperbolic Damon. “That was probably the most fun I’ve ever had in spring training in my whole career." Unfortunately, Tex's enthusiasm lasted until he was paired with Alex Rodriguez, who lived up to his ever-sinking reputation by failing to get out of the first round. Once Tex got rid of A-Rod, however, he advanced to the round of 16 with partner Robinson Cano. 

Mariano Rivera won both tournaments-- first with Phil Coke, and, later, with Andy Pettitte. In addition to demonstrating his keen cue-handling abilities, Rivera also showed off his casual, Obama-inspired outfit.  

Girardi, who admitted he wasn't as approachable or even as likable as the unflappable Joe Torre, took a page from Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin, another notorious hardass who traded in his red-faced intensity for a sunny-side-up demeanor, an attitude adjustment a number of Giants later credited for helping the team win the Super Bowl. That and the emergence of Justin Tuck. 

While I'm all for team-building exercises, I wouldn't put too much stock in yesterday's pool outing. The baseball season is long and grueling. No matter how many field trips the Yankees schedule between now and October, it won't make a lick of difference if the starting rotation fails to deliver, or A-Rod once again withers under the intense media spotlight.