A-Rod Out for 10 Weeks with "Stellar Anterooms"

At least according to a totally whacked-out translated report from ESPN Deportes:

Alex Rodriguez will miss not only play with the Dominican Republic in World Baseball Classic, but lost the first month of the season with the New York Yankees after a medical examination revealed that it should be operated on immediately from a cyst in the hip, said a brother of the player to ESPNdeportes.com

That doesn't even make sense. For all I know, Rodriguez is taking time off from baseball to operate on his brother. The best lines of the report, though, have to be these three successive gems:

The Yankees still have not reported anything about his stellar anterooms.

Rodriguez, 33 years, played with discomfort in his hip last season, but the Yankees never thought they were really serious the matter until an MRI exam revealed a cyst on Saturday.

The Yankees sent andalusia andalusia specialist player Marc Phillipon, the Steadman-Hawkins clinic in Vail, Colorado. Reviews by Phillipon found that A-Rod should be operated on immediately.

I hope A-Rod's andalusia andalusia specialist knows what he's doing: those stellar anterooms are nothing to laugh about. If left untreated, they could turn into brilliant antechambers, which, as we all know, is just one architectural development away from, heaven forbid, an untreatable case of outstanding vestibules. 

(UPDATE: John Heyman confirms the report, although he writes A-Rod is likely to miss only six to eight weeks. No mention of flying buttresses, though.)

Line of the Night

35 points. 16 assists. 6 rebounds. 1 assist. 1 steal. Dwyane Wade. 

With Friends Like These

I once convinced a bartender to compliment my friend on his new shirt, which he had been bragging about all evening. She went out of her way not only to comment on the shirt but also on how well he filled it out. My friend fell for it, and my other friends and I were pretty pleased with ourselves, although, admittedly, we knew full well that the prank was pretty weak, and more than a little lame. It looks even lamer now after watching this friendly prank from two friends/CollegeHumor.com collegaues, which took place at an arena full of rabid University of Maryland fans, in retaliation for a series of earlier pranks. 

Take a look. 

Remind me never to get on either of these guys' bad sides, and to apologize again to my friend.

(Via With Leather)

Line of the Night

29 points. 12 rebounds. 3 assists. 2 steals. 1 block. Rashard Lewis. 

The Senegalese Tease

I knew this deal was on the horizon, but yesterday afternoon the Knicks signed 7-1 Senegalese center Cheikh Samb, a former second round pick of the Los Angeles Lakers, to a 10-day contract. The addition of Samb gives the Knicks their first marginal-to-potentially good shot-blocking presence at center since Dikembe Mutombo, in 2004, believe it or not. Mind you, this says more about the so-called centers various Knicks teams have featured at the 5, though, than it does about Samb, who isn't exactly the second coming of Bill Russell, or even Samuel Dalmbert, for that matter. 

In fact, I doubt Samb'll even see extended minutes on the court, because, in 20 career games, his statistics have about as much bounce as a University of Delaware seismic station: 0.1 assists; 0.2 steals; 1.1 points; 1.5 rebounds. He also shot an embarrassingly horrendous 27 percent from the field, presumably, from about two feet away from the basket. 

So why am I even writing about his signing? With three open roster spots, it's in the Knicks' best interest to see if Samb, who did put up some promising numbers in the NBA's D-League, is up to snuff. And, as the Lakers, Pistons, Nuggets and Clippers figured before the Knicks, Samb's freakishly long arms should run into some shots, which, in turn, should turn into some easy baskets in transition. Who knows, if he shows D'Antoni and his staff something in practice, he might just be able to fit into the team's plans going forward, without screwing the pooch for 2010 and beyond. Although this is more than a little troubling. But that kind of thing happened to Patrick quite often. 

Knickerblogger sees it pretty much the same way, I think:

This is a good low risk-medium reward deal for the Knicks. It’s something that the team has been weak at considering the Roberson/Von Wafer mistake over the summer. If Samb can join the legion of NBDLers who have become solid NBA players he will give New York another cheap player to help the team win now. Additionally players like Samb could help New York field a competitive roster for 2011 without hurting them fiscally.

Worse case scenario, Samb is terrible, and is released before St. Patrick's Day. No harm, no foul. 

Via Chicago

I just returned from a long weekend in Chicago, quite possibly the coldest place I ever hope to visit. I ate a ton of pizza, and nearly got blown away into Lake Michigan, like a two-dollar umbrella. If you've never been, I highly recommend visiting, although I'd wait until at least mid-May for the ice to thaw and the wind to die down, which usually happens, I've been told, around the same time the oppressive humidity kicks in.  

I'm still a bit out of sorts, and hope to get readjusted to blog-time in a day or so. Despite arriving home to 12 inches of snow, spring is, thankfully, right around the corner, which means March Madness and, at last, the return of Major League Baseball. I have some interesting things planned for the blog this month and throughout the rest of the summer. In the meantime, here are three clips that I couldn't help but think about while riding the El. 

Enjoy, as always. 

Line of the Night

42 points. 8 rebounds. 4 assists. 1 steal. 1 block. LeBron James.