The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

The ink has yet to dry on the ridiculous contracts of Indian pitching fads Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel—neither of whom even picked up a baseball until last year—but the Pittsburgh Pirates are already in hot pursuit of another free-agent talent: Mark Loretta.

The 37-year-old Loretta, oddly described by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette as the Pirates’ longtime nemesis (isn’t that Robert Nutting?), hit .280 with four home runs and 38 RBI last season for Houston. Loretta is a respectable .297 career hitter and, in fairness, a pretty reliable infield glove. And, as the article points out, a number of teams are interested in his services.

Still, he’s Mark Loretta, a player contending teams bring in to shore up their defense in the late innings. He’s not the answer, and he really shouldn’t be the Pirates’ marquee off-season target, particularly after they shipped off, in mid-season, favorites Jason Bay and Xavier Nady to the Red Sox and Yankees, respectively; and especially not after the team’s pitching staff finished the 2008 season with a 5.08 earned run average, dead last in the National League.

I understand the organization can't chase after the likes of C.C. Sabathia or Mark Teixeira, but they can't even set their sights higher than Mark Loretta or two kids who don't yet know how to pitch against live batters? Man, it just has to be punishing to root for the Bucs. Their fans aren't even allowed to get excited about the Hot Stove.