"You're F*cking Out, I'm F*cking In"

I don't have HBO, so I've never had the pleasure of watching “Eastbound & Down," a series about Kenny Powers, a washed-up, out-of-control relief pitcher who returns to his hometown of Shelby, North Carolina, to figure out where things went wrong. I've heard great things about it, particularly about its star, Danny McBride, the guy behind "The Foot Fist Way" and the only funny thing about "Tropic Thunder" and "Pinneapple Express." 

For inspiration, Powers apparently listens regularly to his own audiobook, "You're F*cking Out, I'm F*cking In," which, based solely on the below clip, is as funny and outrageous as it sounds. My personal favorite: "One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best fucking time they've ever seen." 

And: "I’ve been blessed with many things in this life. An arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a Burmese python, and the mind of a fuckin’ scientist." 

And: "If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer." 

I think you get the point. Enjoy the compilation. 

(Via Warming Glow)